BLUE MAG

About five minutes into the premiere of “The Black Donnellys” on NBC last night, I could tell it wasn’t going to work. When the titular Donnelly brothers — Tommy, Jimmy, Kevin and Sean — were introduced by the weasely Joe “Ice Cream” (worst. nickname. ever), I thought I’d never be able to figure out which one was which. You got your nice one (Tommy), your gambler (Kevin), your pretty boy (Sean) and your cripple (Jimmy). I wanted a freeze on each boy’s face with the name, so I could rememberize it better. But in the end I think the show did a great job of making that work. Even the next day I can remember which one is the skinny brooding one who gambles and which is the skinny brooding one who is an art student!

What they can’t make work, however, is that the whole concept seems implausible. I don’t understand why grown-up gangsters would take a bunch of kids like the Donnellys seriously. I don’t understand how a 20 year old like Jimmy could keep a bar running in NYC, especially when the main activity of the pilot took place at midnight with the bar empty but open. And above all I don’t understand why Tommy would have anything to do with his deadbeat brothers if he’s the nice one, the one who could “get out.”

Well, that last one was smacked down in the pilot’s kinetic ending, when it was revealed that a childhood prank by Tommy was responsible for Jimmy’s disability, thus explaining why he lets himself get dragged into the mud with his seemingly dead-end brothers.

Actually no, above all what I don’t understand is why this show has one character nicknamed “Joey Ice Cream” and another named “Louie Downtown.” Did they let “Monkey Type Good” come up with the character names?

(Write that last one down)