As an offshoot of the recently revised AFI’s 100 great film list, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are several films that everyone considers great that I just can’t stand. I doubt I’ll make any friends with this list, as most of these films are beloved favorites that have transcended generations but for some reason have skipped me. (Thanks to Tony for the topic suggestion)

1. “Gone With The Wind” — This film has one wonderful shot in it (Scarlet walks across the field of wounded solders) and several hours of what I consider one of the most shrill, annoying, and downright corny performances of all time by Vivian Leigh. The film is too long (I’ve sat through it at least twice, once in the theater) and too racist for me to give a damn about.

2. “The Sound of Music” – Not only is this film around four days long it’s four days of singing! As a child this was a film that smacked of sugary falseness, wrapped up in too neat of a bow. The only thing redeeming is the icy coolness of Christopher Plummer (who is so good an actor that he can even make a Star Trek movie worth watching.)

3. “Panther Panchali” – Satyajit-Ray is acknowledged as a master of cinema on par with Bergman and Fellini and all the rest. I really want to like his films but have yet to stay awake through any of them. In particular, in a movie focused on children I found the children to be horribly directed or I guess, just plain horrible. I don’t know, maybe I need to watch it again and stay awake but it just doesn’t do it for me.

4. “The Apartment” — I love most of Billy Wilder’s films and this is usually hailed as his best (along with “Sunset Blvd.” and “Some Like It Hot.”) I find it impossibly dated (as in irrelevant) and the drama of the situation lacking any drama.

5. “Easy Rider” – A landmark film to be sure (it changed movies for the better) but also empty headed and simplistic to me. A movie so sure that it’s “cool” and “with it” that I kind of want to punch it in the face. I actually prefer Hopper’s following film “The End” quite a bit more. It seemed more honest.

6. “Star Wars” – Probably the best loved film of our generation. Okay I loved this as a kid (who didn’t?) but then I grew out of it. Everyone else my age seemed to hold on to it like Linus’ security blanket and I never completely understood why. “Empire Strikes Back” however is a classic full of genuine magic.

7. “Yi Yi” – This was herald by many critics as the best film of 2000 and I’ve never found a bad review of it. Everyone seems to like Edward Yang’s three-hour examination of a Taiwanese family. It bored me to tears to such lengths that I almost began shouting at the screen and came close to walking out of the theater after a pathetic sequence involving video games.

8. “Forest Gump” – While I admire the technical skill it took to put this movie together (like Cameron’s “Titanic”) it is just plain bad bad bad. As if someone as stupid as its central character made it.

9. “Crash” – This won best picture. It is the worst movie to have ever won best picture. It may be the worst movie period.

10. “Traffic” – The reason I couldn’t stand this film is that when I go to the movies I’m not a fan of being lectured to, especially by someone who is cribbing their notes from someone else. I have to point out that Benico Del Toro was very good in the film; unfortunately Michael Douglas and his daughter have more screen time.

So there you go. I feel like signing off as Uncle Scrooge because of all the bad press I’m giving to beloved movies. What’s next: Classic literature I would like to burn? Music that makes me hate myself and want to die? Boo.

7 Comments »

  1. Comment by Becky posted June 27, 2007 at 2:05 pm:

    Too bad you didn’t see “Forrest Gump” with a former roommate of mine, as it may have made it more entertaining for you. She actually said to me after the movie, “That guy did so much, I’m surprised I’d never heard of him before!”

    Also, she got up to use the facilities during the final minutes of the movie, and she was SHOCKED when the credits were rolling when she came back.

    It’s not like you couldn’t tell when that movie was wrapping up, and I told her I was surprised that she’d leave right then. Her response? “Oh you’re so smart! I can’t believe you know stuff like that..no wonder you went to Berkeley!”

    Yes, it’s a darned good thing I took that “Clues that movies are about to end” class.

  2. Comment by Don posted June 27, 2007 at 3:34 pm:

    One thing that I noticed the last time I saw “The Sound of Music” is that the real hero is Detweiler. As soon as the Von Trapps left Austria you know the Nazis put the screws to Detweiler. Dude would have ended up at Auschwitz.

    I too hated “(I) Crash(ed my Car and Now I’m Not a Racist)”

  3. Comment by Becky posted June 27, 2007 at 4:31 pm:

    You’re totally right that it’s “Uncle Max” who saves the day, as well as the nuns who disable the Nazis’ cars. Rolf is still pretty darned cute though, you have to admit.

    Crash was not Oscar-worthy AT ALL. Greg and I saw that when it first came out & were surprised by all the accolades and awards. It was way too blatant and patronizing.

  4. Comment by Tony posted June 27, 2007 at 7:11 pm:

    How about films that could have been great, (or at least very good) and what tarnished or outright ruined them?

    I’m not suggesting Top 100, mind you, but COLORS: This film had moments of brilliance, beginning with the opening sequence set to Los Lobos’ “One Time One Night”. Perfect. Sean Penn was at his whiney, smarmy, chicken-shit best, particularly when he gets his ass kicked by Robert Duvall. I am 100% convinced that at least a couple of the extras/actors in the PCP party scene cheated a bit on the acting part. Duvall’s death scene, from the sucking chest wound to the death rattle, was almost too realistic (I actually videoed a couple such deaths while working in the Mostar war hospital, 1993. Trust me on this one.)
    But…Maria Conchita Alosno, and the whole love-interest sub-plot, totally ruined all suspension of disbelief. But what film has Conchita not ruined? If you are the worst part of Running Man, well…

    Speaking of Duvall, THE APOSTLE once again demonstrated that he is a peer of DeNiro, Hoffman, and (early) Pacino. A wonderful film, until Billy Bob Thorton’s hackneyed “born again” scene. What a freakin’ shame.

    UNDER THE VOLCANO: A truly hypnotic Dios de los Muertos opening sequence set the stage for a memorizing trip. Albert Finney took method acting to a new level when, through shear will and thespian training, he actually managed to get the veins and pores on his nose to visibly dilate while pretending to guzzle whiskey. Then came the heavy handed white horse/black horse scene at the end. It may have been in M. Lowery’s novel, I’m not sure, but did we really need it in what had worked up to be a second-hand-alcohol-as-hallucinogen experience?

    MUNICH: Gut and mind-wrenching on a number of levels, until the sex-is-violence (or is it violence-is-sex? I can never remember) scene at the end. Then it was just nauseating. That and the totally unbelievable safe-house scene.

  5. Comment by Fred Schroeder posted June 29, 2007 at 5:31 pm:

    Personally I love UNDER THE VOLCANO from start to finish just because John Huston had the guts to try to turn that novel into a movie. I don’t even mind the horses.

    I completely agree MUNICH was great save for those two terrible scenes but again there so much to admire in the film that some lapses are forgivable and in a way make the film a little more human.

    COLORS also has pretty amazing photography that captures LA in much the same way REPO MAN did. It also has several awful things in it that end up (for me) ruining it as a whole. If you haven’t, see THE END which I stand by as Hopper’s best film.

    THE APOSTLE I need to watch again as I have little to no memory of it since seeing it in the theater in … what ‘97? I still like Duvall in LONESOME DOVE best.

  6. Comment by Tony posted June 30, 2007 at 6:54 pm:

    I have not seen THE END. As long as it does not involve Peter Fonda and a motorcycle, and can be found on DVD, I will check it out.

    THE APOSTLE resonated for me on a number of levels. As a Berkeley kid now living in bible-belt East Texas I enjoyed how this film managed to take on some of the more divisive issues in our culture, including fundimental Christianity, racism, and classism, (The Most Segregated Hour) without being…uh… preachy. Until Billy Bob. Darn.

  7. Comment by Tony on pretentious films posted July 9, 2007 at 7:30 pm:

    and the two most pretentious films ever are…
    Koyaanisqatsi
    and
    My Dinner with Andre

    crap! I really like both.

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