BLUE MAG

“It’s not TV; it’s birth control,” NBC very humbly tells us about “The Baby Borrowers.” Another good catchphrase would have been “It’s not TV; it’s full of crap.”

This show, oddly enough a British import, allows 18-20 y.o. couples who claim to want to have babies to raise someone else’s kids for a few weeks. They get infants for a few days, then on to toddlers and even teenagers and the elderly. The idea being they’ll see how soul-killingly awful it is to have to care for another human and will see the error of their ways and commit themselves to a lifetime of sitting in suspended animation, eyeballs taped open to view whatever NBC puts on the TV, or not-TV.

Some of these couples are fresh out of high school. For a few weeks NBC is allowing them to live it up in a bank-owned home (I made that up), shacking up and sharing a bed. In other words: You are too immature to want to have babies; why don’t you two sleep in this bed together for a few weeks and let that sink in. Also: They are charged with the care of real parents’ babies. At one point in the premiere episode, which aired June 26, a fed-up teen fake mother encouraged her charge to “starve” after her attempt to feed him was met with some difficulty. In other words: Babies are a big responsibility; why don’t you two raise this baby that Cindy and Joe dropped off for a few days and think about that.

It is frighteningly irresponsible; unflattering for everybody involved except the babies. It is hilariously bad taste to call it “birth control,” especially when you think about what is going on: A giant corporation renting babies to prove to the youth of America that procreation is doubleplusungood.

The Baby Borrowers
9:00 PM Wednesdays on NBC